Before you go any further, let me make it clear that I am asking the question, not providing an answer.
How do I deal with the unjust?
Lately I have been happy. Not over the moon happy – I haven’t won the Lotto – but content type happy. Things are working out for us at the moment. Things are calm. I have been able to spend some time doing things for myself. The kids have everything that they want and need. Well, maybe not everything they want, but close enough. We are receiving some support. It’s all starting to work out.
Last night, I had some social media upsets over Gaza/Israel – I thought some friends of a friend were being idiots, and I read some news articles that made me cry. Last night I had weird dreams as I always do, but different in that they pointed to some things in my life that I was still missing out on, such as intimacy.
This morning social media has again upset me, although in a different way. On the weekend was Australia’s first conference for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I knew the conference was coming up. I had considered going, but thought I couldn’t handle a whole weekend away by myself. I thought that it was a lot of money for something that may not actually teach me anything. And I knew that the organiser and I had vastly large differences of opinion to the point where I left the only support group in Australia for EDS. (Actually it was more complicated than that, but as it’s easy to figure out who I am talking about, I will not air that laundry here. It’s not my place to do so as it wasn’t all my fight.)
Today I found out that quite a few of my FaceBook “friends” went to the conference.
I felt like the kid at school who was the only one not at the cool party on the weekend *cry*
If I had known they were going, I would have gone, even if just to meet them. So there is that.
There is something else though – something else that also came up today when a friend with Autism added me to an Autism FaceBook support group that I had left for much the same reason that I left the EDS group –
Because I couldn’t deal with the fact that people in these groups “got away” with things I considered “unjust”. People (or even countries) being arseholes and getting. away. with. it!
The events are different. The people are different.
The base theme is the same.
I am missing out because I can’t deal.
The unjust makes me so angry I cry. Long ago, the unjust used to make me so angry I would cut myself.
And “let it go” just doesn’t bloody work!!! The usual pansy arse word trinkets that people use to try and control the thought patterns of others just doesn’t bloody work.
How can I learn to deal with the unjust? How can other ASDers do so?