How to Deal with the Unjust?

Before you go any further, let me make it clear that I am asking the question, not providing an answer.

How do I deal with the unjust?

Lately I have been happy.  Not over the moon happy – I haven’t won the Lotto – but content type happy.  Things are working out for us at the moment.  Things are calm.  I have been able to spend some time doing things for myself.  The kids have everything that they want and need.  Well, maybe not everything they want, but close enough.  We are receiving some support.  It’s all starting to work out.

Last night, I had some social media upsets over Gaza/Israel – I thought some friends of a friend were being idiots, and I read some news articles that made me cry.  Last night I had weird dreams as I always do, but different in that they pointed to some things in my life that I was still missing out on, such as intimacy.

This morning social media has again upset me, although in a different way.  On the weekend was Australia’s first conference for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.  I knew the conference was coming up.  I had considered going, but thought I couldn’t handle a whole weekend away by myself.  I thought that it was a lot of money for something that may not actually teach me anything.  And I knew that the organiser and I had vastly large differences of opinion to the point where I left the only support group in Australia for EDS.  (Actually it was more complicated than that, but as it’s easy to figure out who I am talking about, I will not air that laundry here.  It’s not my place to do so as it wasn’t all my fight.)

Today I found out that quite a few of my FaceBook “friends” went to the conference.

I felt like the kid at school who was the only one not at the cool party on the weekend *cry*

If I had known they were going, I would have gone, even if just to meet them.  So there is that.

There is something else though – something else that also came up today when a friend with Autism added me to an Autism FaceBook support group that I had left for much the same reason that I left the EDS group –

Because I couldn’t deal with the fact that people in these groups “got away” with things I considered “unjust”.  People (or even countries) being arseholes and getting. away. with. it!

The events are different.  The people are different.

The base theme is the same.

I am missing out because I can’t deal.

The unjust makes me so angry I cry.  Long ago, the unjust used to make me so angry I would cut myself.

And “let it go” just doesn’t bloody work!!!  The usual pansy arse word trinkets that people use to try and control the thought patterns of others just doesn’t bloody work.

How can I learn to deal with the unjust?  How can other ASDers do so?

Disability consumer and activist. Pissed off since 1995... Mad as a hatter since way before that.

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Posted in Autism, Disability, Personal
One comment on “How to Deal with the Unjust?
  1. Maree Robertson says:

    thanks for your post Linda, I can’t say what ASDers may, but I thought it may be useful to know that I too struggle most with the trigger of injustice, against me or others, & especially if I have been going out of my way to be *good*, & I have added up that this is most difficult for me to process in a healthy way because of my early childhood traumas around the same issues, ie being unfairly judged & punished & left out etc etc, when I was trying to hard to be a *good girl*, & I know from the work I have been doing in neuroplasticity that this is a hardwired reaction I have now. So for me I know it’s old stuff bubbling up, & while that doesn’t make the current stuff less problematic, it does help me to say to myself *it’s no fucking wonder*, & rewire my brain with healthier cognitive internal discussions.
    I’m guessing your Fb *friends* didn’t intend to hurt you by leaving you out of their plans, they just had different styles of Fb communication, & perhaps, they perceived your position to be that you wouldn’t want to go? So trying not to take the hurt personally, is a big step for me, when it’s relevant. I’m still hurt, but not angry, at people who intended me no harm, & had no way of predicting the impact their (maybe insensitive) behaviour would have on me.
    Hope that helps somehow. I left a psychiatrist once cos they said my concern was *just social justice*, I felt at the time, she may as well tell me not to breathe…..

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Pissed off since 1995. Mad as a hatter since way before that.

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