Do any of us really know who we are?
I know what I like. I like astronomy and ancient Egyptian mythology (and less so, other ancient mythologies).
I know what I like to do. I like to write. I like to scrapbook. I like to play with Lego. I like to take photo’s. I like to play Terraria.
I know what I believe in. I believe in the lifestyle of Wicca (even if I don’t subscribe to all of the beliefs of Wicca). I believe in freedom for all on the provision no harm is being done to others. I believe that the Earth is our mother and is alive just as we are. I believe in energy.
I know where my morals and ethics lie. I know what I find acceptable and I know what I find reprehensible.
I know what I want to do. I want to write a book. I want to get my boat license. I want to help my children find their way in life. I want to spend time being happy with my husband. I want to laugh with my friends. I want to do the things I like. I want to make the world a better place.
I know what I need. I need shelter, food, clothing, a certain amount of security/safety, and a purpose in life.
Still… none of this makes me who I am. Or does it? Is who I am the collection of all these things? A collection of some of these things? Only the most important? Only the ones I spend the most time on? Only the ones others notice the most?
What makes us who we are?
The things I have listed so far are the things I have a choice in, or some control over. What about the things I don’t, such as personality traits?
I “can be” funny and delightful. Is that who I am? I “can also be” depressed and maddening. Is that who I am? Am I the part that appears the most, or the part which is most severe? Or something else entirely?
It is the rare individual who can admit they are a bad person. Even the baddest of people think they are doing the right thing by making “the hard choice”. We all think we are good people. Obviously we are not all good people. So can I even be the one who determines who I am?
Who we are is fluid. It adapts. It flows and ebbs and twists and turns and turns us all around. It is different from one day to the next. From one moment to the next. What we do at any given time is not a definition of who we are as a person.
I have been trying to figure out who I am so that I can have some idea of where I would like to head next. The reality is that where I head next possibly has nothing to do with who I am. Perhaps it will be determined by circumstance alone. Perhaps by circumstance joined with determination and imagination. Perhaps with a side of luck. Perhaps not.
If we try to always do the right thing with the knowledge we have in any particular moment, I think that is that can be reasonably asked of us. To be judged by anything more – especially by ourselves – is just plain wrong.