If Only People Knew – Employment

I just woke up from a power nap…  I had a dream where someone had coerced the manager of a hotel to interview me for a job in reception/management.  I went to the interview and flirted in that job interview the way I have been known to do (ie be rather cheeky and confident), and I knew I had the job…  The place was great – there was a club so you can hear music playing and I love office work!  The manager and I got along really well and I organised to start next week…

And then I woke up.  And was devastated.  Not only knowing it didn’t happen, but knowing it might never happen again…

I wish more people could feel that, so that they know what it’s like.  So that they know I’m not just lazy.  So that they finally fucking get it.

I’m sick of that attitude.  And I’m sick of feeling like – no – KNOWING – that society in general feels like people like me – people on welfare for whatever reason – should only get enough support to survive.  Not to live, just to survive.  I’ve been told by someone that people like me should only be allowed to purchase fruit, vegetables, bread, milk and basic meat with our pension.  Forget any other food, like steak.  Let alone seafood.  And don’t even dare suggest we might be entitled to the odd holiday or day out!!!

(My family is going on a holiday in November.  Respite used to pay for a couple of days away every year or so but they’re not allowed to any more.  So we have saved up.  But I’m scared to tell anyone!!!  I’ve told people anyway – even put it on Facebook – but I braced myself in case I copped flak for it!).

I didn’t ask for this life.  Yes, there are good parts, even great parts, and yes, I know some people are jealous of those things.  Having the time to do what I want.  Spending all day with my kids.  Having the opportunity to homeschool (even though it wouldn’t necessarily be our first choice).  Plus more…

But there are bad parts too.  Pain 24/7.  Medical issues and disability issues and the constant research and worry and appointments.  The operations and procedures.  Knowing my kids will most likely never have a normal life.

People don’t consider that part into the equation.  They just want me to feel guilty for not working.  And because of the way I was brought up, it’s working, to the point of this…

So I wish they knew.  I wish they knew how badly I want to be able to work because I used to love working!!! 

And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to again…


Disability consumer and activist since 2010. Mad as a hatter since way before that.

Posted in Personal

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Pissed off since 1995. Mad as a hatter since way before that.

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