I’m totally frozen in place today.  Barely able to move.  Snuggled in blankets and manoeuvring to as close to the fatal position as possible as often as possible.  My Myoclonic Jerks have come back, despite the medication I am still taking to keep them at bay.

I am stressed.

My youngest son is scared of dying.  He has “bad thoughts” that he “wants gone” before he will even consider going back to school.  He only feels safe with Mum.  Given exactly how upset and scared he is, and taking into consideration the circumstances of his older brother, I’ve been inclined to allow him to stay home until such time as we can see a professional and try to help him.

My oldest son is being bullied at school.  He is being hit and kicked by the boys, and taunted continually by one particular girl.  He has had a roll of connector felt pens bashed over his head.  Other things have been thrown at his head (and connected).  

His teacher keeps making comments that attack his self esteem and blame him for things that are out of his control.  It is obvious she does not understand Autism and has no desire to learn.

One boy has been threatened with suspension, and the principal has addressed the class in regards to bullying being unacceptable.  It didn’t work.  We have to bring him home three times due to major physical assaults; one of those times was after the lecture.

I don’t think the school knows what to do.  In a day and age where parents no longer take responsibity for their kids actions, if you pull parents in to discuss their kids behaviour, you are more than likely simply going to end up the victim of verbal (or even physical) abuse yourself.

So where does that leave us?  Should we segregate our child for his safety?  These attacks could end up killing him.  He has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.  His body isn’t like the body of other kids.  Besides –  Why should he have to do his work on his own in the Support Centre because other kids misbehave and break the law (yes, what they are doing is actually against the law and as they are over ten years of age, they could be charged if the school ever had the balls to make it happen)?  Changing schools isn’t an option as the schools here have catchment area caps – if you are not living in that area, you can not join that school.  We have tried and failed at homeschooling…  We can’t afford to move.

What else is there???  If we keep him home much longer, my income support will be cut by the government due to “truancy” of my kids, and I run the risk of them being taken by the state…

What the fuck do I do?  I am so stressed I can’t move any more.  I physically can’t move.

It’s not like our life wasn’t a cluster fuck of drama before.  I had enough going on as it was, I didn’t need this shit.  My kids didn’t need this shit.

What the fuck do I do?  When you have no options left, what do you do???


Disability consumer and activist since 2010. Mad as a hatter since way before that.

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Pissed off since 1995. Mad as a hatter since way before that.

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